CHEST Medical Writing Tips of the Month:005 国際語としての英語

キャッチャー・イン・ザ・ライ

キャッチャー・イン・ザ・ライ

Professor BarronによるCHESTの卒後教育コンテンツから。

国際語としての英語の負担とどう付き合うか

How Authors Can Cope With the Burden of English as an International Language*

John R. Benfield, MD, FCCP; and Christine B. Feak, MS

(CHEST 2006; 129:172-1730)

 読者が既に知っている情報から書き始める。大きな視点から、だんだんとズームアップして細部に入る。これは、文書にも、話し方に有効だ。相手の手を引くように、ペースを見ながら、ゆっくりと論点に近づけばいいのだ。フィッツジェラルド(Francis Scott Key Fitzgerald)の『グレート・ギャツビー』や、サリンジャー(Jerome David Salinger)の『ライ麦畑でつかまえて』は、端緒にその技法が感じるも、いつのまにか自分が取り込まれてしまう気持ちよさがある。

Background

English is the language of the most widely read and quoted medical journals. This poses a challenge for many authors whose native language is not English. Such authors struggle with the English language burden just as native English-speaking professionals are challenged by language barriers in countries where another language is spoken.1 Given these linguistic challenges, English as an international language (EIL) authors tend to believe that their manuscripts are significantly less likely to be accepted than manuscripts from native speakers. In reality, at least 50% of the publications in many of the best peer-reviewed journals are contributed by EIL authors. For example, from 2003 to 2005, the Journal of Thoracic and Cardiovascular Surgery received 59 to 63% of its manuscript submissions from EIL authors (P. Fried, MBA; personal communication; January 2006) and the experience of the Annals of Thoracic Surgery was essentially the same (H. Pusztay, BA; personal communication; January 2006). For both journals, the acceptance rates of EIL-authored manuscripts is essentially the same as that for native speakers.

→ そもそも、ジャーナルに投稿する人のうち50%以上が、英語を国際語とする人たちEnglish as an international language (EIL)らしい。

EIL Author Draft

Despite of the intricate modification in the surgical management of the perimembranous ventricular septal defect (VSD), the postoperative prevalence of the complete right bundle branch block (CRBBB) had remained high with values ranging from 20 to 62%. The underlying concept of the conventional suturing method for this particular subset of VSD has evolved on the basis of the currently accepted view of the conduction system.

Language Professional Draft

The conventional suturing method for patch closure of perimembranous VSDs is based on our current understanding of the conduction system and involves placing the stitches approximately 5 mm away from the posterior-inferior rim of the defect. The goal of this approach is to. . . (What is the goal? Is it to protect or preserve something? Something else?).

Peer Revision Draft

Despite improvements in the suturing method for closure of perimembranous ventricular septal defects (VSD), the postoperative incidence of complete right bundle branch block (CRBBB) has remained from 20 to 62%. Conventionally, stitches have been placed away from the posterior-inferior rim of the defect, hoping thereby to avoid the bundle of His in its left ventricular course.

→ 専門家が用いたのは、読者が既に知っている情報から書き始めるという、よく使われる手法。

Does the choice of the right words and phrases really matter? Winston Churchill and Mark Twain thought it did. According to Johnson, Twain proclaimed that “the difference between the almost right word and the right word is really a large matter – it’s the difference between the lightning bug and the lightning.” Also, in his famous speech of 1940, Churchill said “Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties and so bear ourselves that if the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, ‘This was their finest hour.’” Johnson5 states, “Try substituting another word for finest in the last sentence. ‘This was their best hour?’ ‘Most noble hour?’ ‘Most courageous hour?’ Nothing else serves as well as finest. You can hear the lightning crackle.”In science, it is important for all authors to be able to express themselves fully. Good scientific publication demands accuracy, completeness, and the power of analysis and interpretation.

→(こういう、いい話が聞けるのも、さすが専門誌)

 適切な言葉や文の選択は本当に大切なのだろうか?

 ウィンストン・チャーチルとマーク・トウェインはそう考えた。トウェインは次のように主張していたという。「“ほとんど適切な”言葉と“適切な”言葉の違いは極めて大きい。これは蛍の光と雷の光くらい違うのだ。」またチャーチルは1940年の有名な演説でこう述べている。「Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties and so bear ourselves that if the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, “This was their finest hour.(よって我々は全力を尽くし、1000年のちに大英帝国の人々にもこう言わせたいものです。「これが彼等の最良の時だった」と。)」

 「最後の文にある“finest“を別の言葉に置き換えてみたまえ。“best hour”か?“most noble hour”か?それとも“most courageous hour”か?どれも“finest”ほどしっくりこない。“finest”こそぴったりの言葉なのだ。」

 科学では、すべての著者が自分を十分表現できることが大切だ。質のよい科学出版には、正確性、完全性、そして分析力と解釈力を重視することが必要とされる。

Take-Home Messages

In order for the revision process to move beyond the simple goal of “fixing” a text to a process in which EIL authors are developing their writing skills on the way toward becoming independent writers, input from both a language professional and an experienced peer is important.

→ 修正プロセスを、文章を「直す」という単純な目的を超えて、EIL著者がライティングスキルを身に付けて自分たちで論文を書けるようにするプロセスにするためには、言語の専門家と経験豊かな医学の専門家の両方のアドバイスが必要。

これから)ラジオ体操します。今日から2日間、医療メディエーター協会の認定講習。気力が持つか?

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